Hi Everyone,
Well, it has been a week and a half now since we came home with Selene after making that so difficult decision that it was time to let her go. She lies buried in the garden, although I am having a bit of a battle to keep the catnip plant I put to mark the spot from being dug up by the local moggies, despite enclosing it within an upturned hanging basket. I really should have known better. It's always so popular.
Thankfully, her daughter Hecate, does not seem to be pining very much. She has her usual good appetite, and no competition now, although Pyewacket has taken to checking if she has left any food. She does sometimes look a little lost, and as if she is waiting for Selene to appear, but I'm not sure if that isn't just me projecting my own thoughts and feelings upon her. She is certainly less exuberant than usual.
Throughout the months of Selene's illness, since that diagnosis back in September 2009, I have frequently used both EFT and Reiki to help both Selene and me, as my previous posts detail. She has been on the Reiki-Evolution Distant Healing Group List all that time, and I am sure that all the positive energies flooding her way did much to enable her to do as well as she did.
When I knew that last weekend that the end-time was approaching I updated the Healing Group, and asked for Reiki to be sent at the time of the appointment. Did it contribute to the fact that on the whole the entire visit was actually quite peaceful and ultimately gentle? I like to think so as Selene seemed so calm about it all, quiet and relaxed even in the cat carrier on the way there. Certainly not her usual behaviour.
When we knew we were going, finally, to be making that last appointment with the vet, I had felt quite overwhelmed with emotion, easily a 10/10 on the SUDS rating. I was familiar with that feeling; it was the same as it was when we had had to have Tigger put to sleep, back in 2004, after being diagnosed with a cancer of the kidney at age 15. That had all happened quite quickly, within the space of a week or so, and didn't happen quite so peacefully.
Three years prior to that, Tigger's sister Tasha, had to be put to sleep after suffering an aortic thrombo-embolism. That was extremely quick and sudden! She went off her hind legs, obviously in great distress at 4.15 pm one Sunday afternoon. By 5.00 pm we were at the vets and he told us the only real option was to put her to sleep; by 6.00 pm she was buried in the garden.
So there were these memories feeding in all that past negative emotion. Plus the very thought of having to bring things to such a final conclusion..... Had we left it too long......? Perhaps she might bounce back again......? Just looking at her lying there, looking so tired, the spark gone out, as Craig put it; all this tugged at the heart strings. It is such a huge decision; were we doing the right thing? (Remember this was before Selene's Rainbow). And of course, already grieving the loss of a bright little soul, anticipating the absence.
Anyone who has lost a beloved pet knows what goes through the mind and heart at these times. Exactly the same emotions as those we have when a beloved family member or friend has died. Emotions such as grief, sometimes guilt, and even anger, at ourselves and the lost one. And tears flowing, so many tears....
So over the weekend of 7th and 8th May I did a lot of EFT tapping. Sometimes I articulated what I felt, and where I felt it; at others I just tapped away as I let it all flow out of me. I especially wanted to be able to hold it together so that Selene didn't have to pick up on feelings of raw grief as we travelled to the vets. Animals, like young children, are so sensitive to atmosphere and emotions.
As my husband carried the cat carrier into the consulting room, I was tapping on the Karate Chop point to try and help balance myself. Now this didn't stop me crying as we let her out on to the table; it didn't clear the choking in my throat as we said we knew it was now time, but that was all right. That was appropriate, and fitting.
As Craig gave her the injection I held my hands gently around Selene's head, letting Reiki flow to her that one last time. As I said previously, it was all very quick, and very gentle.
When I came out with her and got into the car, while I was waiting for my husband to settle up, I shed many tears, but as I did, I tapped away on the usual shortcut points. I didn't bother with any setup phrases, or even much about wording. I was in the depth of the emotion, letting it flow, and just tapped and tapped. At times like this, that is all you need to do.
Within a very few minutes the tears stopped, and I too felt a sense of peace and calm.
Once we had buried Selene I did a little more tapping to mop up any remaining distress. Come bedtime, unlike the 3 previous times (we had another cat, Solstice, who died during a stay in the cattery when we were on holiday - that was certainly a shock to come home to!) I found I just could not get emotionally upset.
Well, it has been a week and a half now since we came home with Selene after making that so difficult decision that it was time to let her go. She lies buried in the garden, although I am having a bit of a battle to keep the catnip plant I put to mark the spot from being dug up by the local moggies, despite enclosing it within an upturned hanging basket. I really should have known better. It's always so popular.
Throughout the months of Selene's illness, since that diagnosis back in September 2009, I have frequently used both EFT and Reiki to help both Selene and me, as my previous posts detail. She has been on the Reiki-Evolution Distant Healing Group List all that time, and I am sure that all the positive energies flooding her way did much to enable her to do as well as she did.
When I knew that last weekend that the end-time was approaching I updated the Healing Group, and asked for Reiki to be sent at the time of the appointment. Did it contribute to the fact that on the whole the entire visit was actually quite peaceful and ultimately gentle? I like to think so as Selene seemed so calm about it all, quiet and relaxed even in the cat carrier on the way there. Certainly not her usual behaviour.
When we knew we were going, finally, to be making that last appointment with the vet, I had felt quite overwhelmed with emotion, easily a 10/10 on the SUDS rating. I was familiar with that feeling; it was the same as it was when we had had to have Tigger put to sleep, back in 2004, after being diagnosed with a cancer of the kidney at age 15. That had all happened quite quickly, within the space of a week or so, and didn't happen quite so peacefully.
Three years prior to that, Tigger's sister Tasha, had to be put to sleep after suffering an aortic thrombo-embolism. That was extremely quick and sudden! She went off her hind legs, obviously in great distress at 4.15 pm one Sunday afternoon. By 5.00 pm we were at the vets and he told us the only real option was to put her to sleep; by 6.00 pm she was buried in the garden.
So there were these memories feeding in all that past negative emotion. Plus the very thought of having to bring things to such a final conclusion..... Had we left it too long......? Perhaps she might bounce back again......? Just looking at her lying there, looking so tired, the spark gone out, as Craig put it; all this tugged at the heart strings. It is such a huge decision; were we doing the right thing? (Remember this was before Selene's Rainbow). And of course, already grieving the loss of a bright little soul, anticipating the absence.
Anyone who has lost a beloved pet knows what goes through the mind and heart at these times. Exactly the same emotions as those we have when a beloved family member or friend has died. Emotions such as grief, sometimes guilt, and even anger, at ourselves and the lost one. And tears flowing, so many tears....
So over the weekend of 7th and 8th May I did a lot of EFT tapping. Sometimes I articulated what I felt, and where I felt it; at others I just tapped away as I let it all flow out of me. I especially wanted to be able to hold it together so that Selene didn't have to pick up on feelings of raw grief as we travelled to the vets. Animals, like young children, are so sensitive to atmosphere and emotions.
As my husband carried the cat carrier into the consulting room, I was tapping on the Karate Chop point to try and help balance myself. Now this didn't stop me crying as we let her out on to the table; it didn't clear the choking in my throat as we said we knew it was now time, but that was all right. That was appropriate, and fitting.
As Craig gave her the injection I held my hands gently around Selene's head, letting Reiki flow to her that one last time. As I said previously, it was all very quick, and very gentle.
When I came out with her and got into the car, while I was waiting for my husband to settle up, I shed many tears, but as I did, I tapped away on the usual shortcut points. I didn't bother with any setup phrases, or even much about wording. I was in the depth of the emotion, letting it flow, and just tapped and tapped. At times like this, that is all you need to do.
Within a very few minutes the tears stopped, and I too felt a sense of peace and calm.
Once we had buried Selene I did a little more tapping to mop up any remaining distress. Come bedtime, unlike the 3 previous times (we had another cat, Solstice, who died during a stay in the cattery when we were on holiday - that was certainly a shock to come home to!) I found I just could not get emotionally upset.
I could think of the day's events calmly, and feel only a sense of relief that Selene would no longer suffer from the frequent liquid visits to the litter tray which must have been so enervating - after all, imagine how you feel yourself when suffering with diarrhoea! And think what it must be like for it to happen regularly.
I had to go into work the afternoon before the appointment. I was able to keep my composure and thus not upset any of my clients. The next day one of my colleagues, one who not long ago lost her own little cat, asked me about Selene and I managed to talk to her with only a few tears and choked up feelings.
It actually felt very strange not to come down to a pong in the morning. I never thought I would ever miss the smell of cat poo! Association I suppose; the absence of whiff meant an absence of cat. It also felt very odd not to have a little body on the table behind me in the kitchen as I got food ready. When I cleared away Selene's food and water bowl, I felt emotion rise up - more tapping knocked it out. Whenever a memory arose that made me choked, or tears to well up, I tapped on it.
It only took a moment of tapping on the Collar Bone point, and I was smiling at the memory rather than bawling my eyes out.
I know that EFT is an excellent tool in this sort of situation, but I have never had the opportunity to personally experience it at this level. Obviously, I would much rather not have had to, but that's the way of it. I have used EFT previously on memories of Tigger, Tasha and Solstice when those memories have made me upset (and of course EFT can be applied for human bereavement too - I've worked very successfully on a lot on issues around my father's last illness and death - I just wish I'd known about EFT back in 2003!)
Because I know how powerful EFT is, it does not really surprise me that it has helped so much in allowing me to come to terms with what has happened and move forward so easily, and swiftly. When working with a client, we always try to test our results. One way of doing this is to "Tell the Story" and see if you are affected as much as you were before you started the tapping. On Monday, almost a week to the time Selene died, I had to tell my mother, as she had been away the last few days. There was some chokiness, but I could talk about it without too much trouble.
Today, I had to tell another person that Selene was no longer with us. I could feel a slight emotion rising, a tightness in the back of the throat, but manageable. I found I was picking up more on her distress as she remembered a cat of her own which she had had to have put to sleep.
I can leave it at this low level, probably about 1/10 on the SUDS rating, or if I want to, I could do a little more tapping to get it totally zeroed. Perhaps it sounds a bit odd, but I am happy to leave this little residue to dissolve of its own accord.
EFT - Emotional Freedom Techniques - the name says it all. The use of EFT tapping does not change what happened, but it does remove the negative emotions that surround what happened, allowing you the good and happy memories, uncontaminated by the bad. It is the negative emotional charge that wears you down, and causes problems.
The previous pet bereavements have taken me a few months to get over them, but this time, although I know that I am still going to be ambushed at times by quirky little memories of Selene, instead of bringing about further sorrow and grief, my hope is that I shall be able to smile at them, and allow them to bring joy instead. I think that would be a worthy legacy from Selene.
Should you ever be in a similar situation, or still mourn the death of a beloved animal companion, do give EFT a try. It can do no harm, and I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised how much relief it can bring.
Bright Blessings,
I had to go into work the afternoon before the appointment. I was able to keep my composure and thus not upset any of my clients. The next day one of my colleagues, one who not long ago lost her own little cat, asked me about Selene and I managed to talk to her with only a few tears and choked up feelings.
It actually felt very strange not to come down to a pong in the morning. I never thought I would ever miss the smell of cat poo! Association I suppose; the absence of whiff meant an absence of cat. It also felt very odd not to have a little body on the table behind me in the kitchen as I got food ready. When I cleared away Selene's food and water bowl, I felt emotion rise up - more tapping knocked it out. Whenever a memory arose that made me choked, or tears to well up, I tapped on it.
Memories do ambush you, often just as you feel you have a sense of equilibrium. In the middle of last week, Hecate came in and indicated she wanted some food. I decided I'd give her some treats instead but as I reached for the pot on the shelf, I suddenly burst into a flood of tears.
One small regret I do have, and that is I never thought to tape one of Selene's little mannerisms. When she fancied a treat, she would sit on the kitchen table and look fixedly at you. Once she knew she had your attention she would look, very deliberately at her treat pot on the shelf, and then look back at you. Occasionally she would even thow in a look at her food bowl. We would say "What is it then?" and she would repeat t process. We could do this a few times and you could see her thought processes - "Blimey, how much clearer can I make myself? Feed me my treats!!!!!".
I know that EFT is an excellent tool in this sort of situation, but I have never had the opportunity to personally experience it at this level. Obviously, I would much rather not have had to, but that's the way of it. I have used EFT previously on memories of Tigger, Tasha and Solstice when those memories have made me upset (and of course EFT can be applied for human bereavement too - I've worked very successfully on a lot on issues around my father's last illness and death - I just wish I'd known about EFT back in 2003!)
Because I know how powerful EFT is, it does not really surprise me that it has helped so much in allowing me to come to terms with what has happened and move forward so easily, and swiftly. When working with a client, we always try to test our results. One way of doing this is to "Tell the Story" and see if you are affected as much as you were before you started the tapping. On Monday, almost a week to the time Selene died, I had to tell my mother, as she had been away the last few days. There was some chokiness, but I could talk about it without too much trouble.
Today, I had to tell another person that Selene was no longer with us. I could feel a slight emotion rising, a tightness in the back of the throat, but manageable. I found I was picking up more on her distress as she remembered a cat of her own which she had had to have put to sleep.
I can leave it at this low level, probably about 1/10 on the SUDS rating, or if I want to, I could do a little more tapping to get it totally zeroed. Perhaps it sounds a bit odd, but I am happy to leave this little residue to dissolve of its own accord.
EFT - Emotional Freedom Techniques - the name says it all. The use of EFT tapping does not change what happened, but it does remove the negative emotions that surround what happened, allowing you the good and happy memories, uncontaminated by the bad. It is the negative emotional charge that wears you down, and causes problems.
The previous pet bereavements have taken me a few months to get over them, but this time, although I know that I am still going to be ambushed at times by quirky little memories of Selene, instead of bringing about further sorrow and grief, my hope is that I shall be able to smile at them, and allow them to bring joy instead. I think that would be a worthy legacy from Selene.
Should you ever be in a similar situation, or still mourn the death of a beloved animal companion, do give EFT a try. It can do no harm, and I suspect you will be pleasantly surprised how much relief it can bring.
Bright Blessings,
Karen
Please feel free to contact me if you have any queries or requests.
To start learning about EFT you can download my "Balance Your Life With EFT" free manual or go to my Self Help Page. Although you can no longer obtain Gary Craig's comprehensive training DVD sets to buy, you can rent them from here.
Please Note: Anything on the EFT side of this blog is provided as a public courtesy to help expand the use of EFT in the world. Any EFT content of this blog represents the unique ideas and usage of EFT by me, as its author. The information in this blog is not intended to be a substitute for appropriate, qualified medical care from doctors or other health-care providers. It is here to offer information on other complementary options to help you in your quest for optimum health, which you may wish to discuss with your healthcare providers before implementing. You, the reader, must be prepared to take full responsibility for your own health and I cannot be held responsible for any adverse effects or consequences resulting from the use of the techniques underlined here, either on you or others... more
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